Anything Goes
by awesomesen
Summary: Chapter two: Obsession is such a negative word... [Leblanc x Paine. No, seriously.]
1. Leblanc

_(...a__ while ago, i was joking around and said that i would really like to see Paine/Leblanc, because that would be the most crack of all crack pairings.__this turned into a bit of a joking threat-- "just you watch, i'm seriously going to write it!" -- and finally, i got around to it. Dedicated to ms. _**kj8673**, _because i still blame it on you. :P)_

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anything goes

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Leblanc always gets what she wants, so when she decides on that dark member of the Gullwings, it was only a matter of time. There is something interesting about the woman, something different to her--she has none of the Al Bhed's charisma and people skills, none of the High Summoner's strength and heroism. But there is something infinitely more fascinating about her.

Leblanc wants her in a case, a glass box or sphere, something she ccan hold and carry with her, examine at her leisure. Like the research that comes with each new sphere found, the search for clues and judging of value, difficult, frustrating, rewarding. Or maybe nothing like that at all, maybe Leblanc will just keep her close as a person, inspect her as one. Care for her, of course--Leblanc takes care of all that was hers--but keep her until she discovered the mysteries, unraveled them into little red threads.

She finds out with some quick research that the woman's name is Paine, and that she used to be a friend of Nooj. Both these facts please Leblanc, because she is of course still fond of him (it's still true love, obviously, always, but Leblanc is allowed her side projects while Noojie slaves away for the Youth League). The name Paine is sweet, too, tender in Leblanc's mind, a fitting name for something she thinks of as a fascinatingly dark mystery.

She considers their first conversation. She will tell Paine that the name Leblanc means "the white," or "the healer," and Paine will realize that this fits perfectly with her own name and colorings. Almost like destiny, she'll realize. Then what will happen? Isn't it obvious?

Paine will realize that Leblanc has everything she could ever want--fame, fortune, a large house and more spheres then anyone could ever need. And Leblanc will protect her, better then any man could, better then anyone else ever could. And Leblanc will be able to study her at her leisure, learn what makes her fascinating, learn everything about her.

A perfect arrangement.

Leblanc calls Logos over, Ormi too, and has them contact the Gullwings, set up a meeting, obstinately to congratulate the High Summoner on her recent engagement in person. She smiles at herself in the mirror while she waits, taking careful care in the application of her make up and primping of her hair.

"Did you know why my parents named me 'Leblanc?'" she murmurs to herself, practicing, excited and smug and pleased. She can hardly wait until they arrive, even if that means having to see the Al Bhed and High Summoner, too. Leblanc doesn't doubt, she never does, never has. She already knows how this day will end.

Paine will be hers. Because, after all, Leblanc always gets what she wants.

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	2. Paine

_This story was always meant to be a one-shot. I thought Paine/Leblanc would be hilarious, and figured that I could manage a "chapter" through Leblanc's point of view, but it was clearly obvious from the start that there was no way Paine would ever, ever show an interest in Leblanc back. Clearly obvious. Right?_

_...Eh, apparently not._

_If chapter one was dedicated to _**kj8673** _for making me want to write it, chapter two will have to be blamed on _**ikonopeiston**_, since it was her questioning of some bad phrasing on my part that made me get the idea in the first place. XD_

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**anything goes (part two)

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Once or twice, Paine has found herself wondering what in the world Nooj saw in Leblanc. Each time this happens, of course, she scolds herself, because she has absolutely no business in thinking like that anymore, in terms of the past and him. It's been two years, nearly three. They are both completely different people then they were, and she isn't a Recorder anymore, either. She really shouldn't care at all what Nooj does anymore, or who he spends his time with.

But _still._ What on _earth_ can Nooj see in her? Leblanc has the absolute worst sense of fashion, the stupidest henchmen, the dumbest plans--she is a cartoon character come to life, all peroxide and bright red nails. That Nooj hasn't kicked her aside like the bimbo she is is perplexing and somehow infuriating to Paine.

She decides at last that there must be something more to Leblanc, there _must _be, but every time she gets her hopes up Leblanc says something utterly idiotic, does something grandly stupid, and Paine gets irritated all over again.

Nooj's taste in women can't suck _that _much, can it? Paine wonders if perhaps he tolerates her for some other reason, one that has nothing whatever to do with the world of dating. Her syndicate's power and influence. All the spheres she has and can go and find. But maybe it is Leblanc's physical form after all, which is hard not to notice when the woman clads herself exclusively in very tight, revealing outfits in various shades of fuchsia and pink. It's hard to deny that _that _exists, it's just that Paine doesn't want to believe it, because--well, she tells herself, again, there's really no reason to think like that. She is not a jealous ex, she isn't even really an ex to start with, and even if she was she still would have no reason to be worked up about it regardless.

...It's just _so strange_. Paine isn't an optimist like Rikku is, but she tries her hand at it anyway, trying to convince herself that there must be something besides perfume under the surface of Leblanc. A brain. Fighting talent--well, no, not that one. Paine has proof. But there must be something besides breasts and hips and long legs. After all, there's no way someone could run a large syndicate on just dumb luck, looks and stubbornness, right?

So Paine decides to take the logical, totally not obsessive route and try and get to know Leblanc better. After all, there had been more to Rikku then just hyperactivity and that scarf in the end, and that was the same principle at least.

Of course Rikku chooses that moment to skip into the cabin, orange scarf tails flowing behind her, and announces that Leblanc has personally invited the Gullwings to dinner.

"What?" Paine asks, sitting upright. She had been slouching on the cough, there being no point to sulking with good posture.

Rikku decides that pantomime is the best way to get the message across. "Dinner," she says, miming eating, "Guadosalam," she holds her hair up in a poor imitation of the traditional Guado frizziness, "Leblanc." Her impression of Leblanc, however, is perhaps a little too good. She pouts, bats her eyes and sticks her chest out, hands stuck on her hips. She drops the pose and bounces up and down on the balls of her heels. "She wants to congratulate Yunie on gettin' engaged. I figure it's a trap, but hey! Free food!"

"We're going to go eat with Leblanc," Paine repeats, a little dumbstruck at the timing.

"And people say _I'm _thick!" Rikku replies brightly, vaulting herself over the bar and beginning to make herself a drink, shooing away Barkeep and Darling when they try to help. Paine lets the jab slide, and leans back into the couch. Well. Since they're going to Guadosalam _anyway_, she thinks...

...It won't be weird if she talks to Leblanc. And, well, tries to get to know her a little better. Leblanc will be the hostess, after all. And it's only polite. And there _has _to be more to her than lipstick. There _has _to be.

For the sake of her sanity, and possibly Nooj's life, there had _better _be.

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End file.
